“That Goddamn Song!” David Vargo Turns 60 and Does It Right




The Birthday Boy at 60



My husband, David Vargo, has always been a talented man, much admired in the acting community, a terrific graphic designer, and the winner of multiple awards for various things (trophies fill our house).  It was therefore a major shock for him to realize that in 2017, like it or not, he was going to turn 60 on December 22.  SIXTY!  YIKES!  A HORROR STORY! 


More than that, in 2013 he had married into a chosen family that has rituals for Big Birthdays like this, and such momentous occasions do not pass quietly into the night but are instead celebrated with traditional major public happenings.  Oh, no!  NO, NO, NO!!!


One of these rituals, in which David, alas, has participated a couple of times over the last five years of our marriage as one of the singers, is the rendition of the “Big Birthday” song, about which I have often commented on in this blog.  It was written years ago by myself and my son Clayton (and rewritten a number of times since), and is used for those birthdays ending in a zero.  It has wicked lyrics.  Here they are (insert celebrant's name chorus at the end):

[Click To Enlarge]


When I turned sixty this song was sung to me at a major fete.  Here is the video of the end of that august occasion, where the festivities were led by Arthur Greenbaum and Thomas Jeffire in front of alcoholically-encouraged friends who sang it lustily; https://youtu.be/jRC07WKzt7Y.


In January of 2017, when poor aging David, a young 59, could see this all coming a mere eleven months away, he muttered in a low but determined voice, “I don’t want to hear that Goddamn Song!”  I was—how shall I put this?—nonplussed at this startling sentence, and perhaps he noticed my poorly disguised hurt.  Two days later, in a conciliatory mood and with a soft loving voice, David cooed to me, “You know I was kidding, right?  I really do want to have ‘Big Birthday’ performed for my 60th this coming December.”  Uh huh.  David immediately added, as a joke, “Of course I want it sung in four party harmony.”  Right.


The solution was clear.  I have been writing songs since I was a boy (and I produced a record album—yes a real vinyl 12” LP record—in 1977 of my comic songs, called “Strange Songs”).  Thus all I had to do was write a new version of “Big Birthday” for David’s 60th and get our chosen family to perform it for him.  Piece of cake. 


Lorri and David at Party
By December David had begun to embrace his coming birthday with enthusiasm, and decided to go whole hog.  He and my chosen sister, Lorri Latek (Goddess of Parties), went hunting for a suitable venue, and ended by selecting an elegant private room (the Wine Cellar) at The Refectory, the premier high-end restaurant in Columbus, for the date of the actual birthday: December 22, 2017.  A multi-course meal would be served, and the fancy invitations explained that formal wear was expected, which had the men in tuxedos and the women in evening gowns!  David arranged for a violinist to play, and videographers to record the whole event.  The lovely place settings had a wine glass each with the guest’s name engraved thereon.  It was a major birthday celebration, as these photos demonstrate:










Lorri, David, and Pamela Maggied





I was in charge of the entertainment, and I told David that we were indeed going to sing the traditional “Big Birthday” song and then perform a skit.  That was a misdirection.
In mid-December I gathered our chosen family together, handed out the sheet music, and we rehearsed a new version of “Big Birthday,” now called “That Goddamn Song.”  It begins with the same first line as the original song, but then is interrupted by me with new lyrics and melody before it morphs into a bawler’s version of “Big Birthday” with some notes sung in four party harmony (or, as Arthur Greenbaum speculated, more than four parts, depending on the singer’s amount of consumed alcohol, enthusiasm, and musical imagination).  Here is the video of that sterling performance: https://youtu.be/n193N3NVOGg.
So in the end David Vargo turned 60 in a grand style, surrounded by people who love him very much, secure in the knowledge that when it came to this “senior” milestone he surmounted it with an evening to remember forever.



------------------
Related Posts:

“A Guide to the Best of My Blog”; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-guide-to-best-of-my-blog.html

 “The Evil Big Birthday Song” November 5, 2010;http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2010/11/evil-big-birthday-song.html

"Strange Songs, Inc.," September 29, 2010; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2010/09/strange-songs-inc.html

“The Carolers: A Comic Christmas Song,” December 7, 2010; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2010/12/carolers-comic-christmas-song.html

“When My Family Turned Into a Criminal Gang: Charleyne’s 70th Birthday,” November 30, 2017; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2017/11/when-my-family-turned-into-criminal.html


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How To Write an Effective Legal Threat Letter

Image
                                              . Since I graduated from law school in 1968 I've always had some sort of legal practice which varied from extensive in the early years, to these days when I'm retired and mostly just doing consulting work for a hefty fee.   In this period I've written a lot of letters threatening legal action on behalf of my client (or, on the rare occasion, myself—see Related Posts below).   In the classroom I've passed on my advice on how to create an effective letter, and now I offer it to you, blog reader. A letter threatening legal action almost always discombobulates a recipient who is not him/herself routinely involved in legal actions.   I tell my law students that in their coming practices they will often receive such letters (or nowadays even emails), and they will calmly evaluate what to do about them depending on the legal issues involved and the wisdom of litigating them.   But the non-legal recipient of such a letter i
Read more

The Payment-In-Full Check: A Powerful Legal Maneuver

Image
Having a dispute with a creditor? One way to win it (and fast) is to send that creditor a "payment in full" check [hereafter "PIFC"] and end it things in your favor. How does this bit of legal magic work? Read on. It's always been the law that if you and I have an existing contract, either one of us can propose a modification to that contract, and if we both agree, the contract changes accordingly. There are technical names for this. Say, for instance, that I owe you an undisputed amount of $500. I send you an email and ask if you would take my horse Dobbins is settlement of the debt, and you reply in the affirmative. My offer of something different than what was originally owed (the horse for the money) is called the offer of an "accord." Your agreement to take Dobbins is the "satisfaction." Thus an "accord and satisfaction" in our law is nothing more than a fancy name for a modification agreement. I no longer owe you $500; I
Read more

Mortgage Foreclosures, Missing Promissory Notes, and the Uniform Commercial Code: A New Article

Image
. For the last few years I have been crossing the country giving lectures on what I now call the "Golden Rule of Mortgage Foreclosures," which is that such foreclosures cannot proceed without production of the original promissory note signed at the closing.  A symposium at Western State University Law School last year at which I gave the keynote address turned into a law review article on point, and that law review article is reprinted below in full.  The correct citation for the printed version is 39 W. St. U. L. Rev. 313 (2012).  As subsequent developments occur I will add them in red to the original article below.  Any corrections or suggestions may be sent to me at dglswhaley@aol.com .                                                      ------------------------------------- Mortgage Foreclosures, Promissory Notes, and the Uniform Commercial Code   By Douglas J. Whaley * Introduction             As is true of many things in life the Uniform Comme
Read more