Creating the Bible: Water Into Wine
Professor Ehrman |
Recently I’ve been
reading the fascinating books of Bart D. Ehrman, the James A. Gray
Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North
Carolina at Chapel Hill, including “Forged” and “Jesus, Interrupted,” in which
he explores how the books of the New Testament of were composed and settled
upon for inclusion in the Bible. Ehrman
began life as a fundamentalist who attended the Moody Bible Institute and graduated
from Wheaton College in Illinois, earning his his PhD
and M.Div. from Princeton Theological Seminary. During this period, as he learned how much
deception and outright forgery went into the Biblical writings, he worked his
way from devout evangelical to agnostic.
Scholars are in agreement that the books of the New Testament called by the names Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John were not written by contemporaries of Jesus, as most of us were taught in Bible classes, but were instead composed decades after Christ’s death by later members of the church, probably gentiles, who were learned men in places such as Rome or Greece. The four books of the Bible just mentioned were the first written records of the oral stories about Jesus that had floated around for decades, being repeated from one person to another, creating legends that changed with each telling. Like any story repeated over and over by many different people, the incidents in the life of Jesus became confused and contradictory. The current version of the Bible disagrees on many of the details of events common to more than one of the books in which they’re described. For example the details of Christ’s birth vary from book to book, as do those of his death. Where they contradict each other—what happened at Jesus’s tomb, for example—one of these versions must be wrong, but no one seems to care much about that.
In this blog post
I speculate as to what it must have been like for those learned men who first
wrote down the legends they’d gathered from many sources, deciding which ones
were true and which false. It would be a
daunting task to write a definitive version of the life of Jesus Christ, and
there would undoubtedly be good moments and bad ones in the decision-making
process. In the following fiction I
imagine how one segment of the Bible might have come to be. It concerns the final composition of the Book
of John, which experts date to around 90 A.D.
Abantes, Medon,
and Tityrus looked at each other across the table. Having just written the word “Amen” to a
document they had been crafting for a full year of labor, they were
speechless.
“Are we done?” Medon asked with a note of wonder
in his voice.
“Yes!” said Abantes, adding a whoop of
joy, whereupon he pounded the table, causing all items on it to jump. “We’re done, done, done! Praise God!”
“Wine, then! Let’s have wine and celebrate!” They scurried
to the task. Tityrus rose and fetched
cups and a wineskin, Abantes went to the cupboard for cheese and bread, and
Medon carefully stowed away the important document on the table and their
writing implements.
When the
wine was poured they drank the first of a series of toasts. This was to God for giving them the strength
and wisdom to have completed the task of gathering the stories of Jesus—his
works and his sayings—from many sources and compiling them into a coherent
narrative (better, they believed, than the incomplete and awkward other gospels
that were beginning to circulate). But
that toast was followed by ones to themselves, to their wives and children, and
to the many people who had related the fables of Jesus’s life that formed the
basis for their narrative (some of which they had rejected as too improbable—although,
after a long debate, they’d finally decided to include the shaky “walking on
water” episode). As wine was poured and drunk,
and another wineskin fetched, they grew very merry indeed.
“Yes!”
Abantes agreed. “He made it part of his
ritual at the last supper, so it must have been important to him.” Abantes was slurring his words, but was still
perfectly understandable.
Tityrus had
a thought. “We should put something in
early in our version in which Jesus makes it clear he approves of wine!”
“Right,”
replied Abantes, raising his glass as if toasting the idea. “Stop future arguments about whether wine
should be allowed in the church and at meals.
My wife won’t let me drink it at home at all, and that’s not right, damn
it! She says it makes me a bad
husband! Me!”
“How about
this?” Tityrus rose solemnly to make his
proposal. “The young Jesus goes to a
wedding and gets drunk.” They all
laughed at the absurdity of that.
“No,” Medon
said firmly. “Not drunk, but maybe he could bless the wine at some wedding.”
“OH!
OH!” Abantes cried with
excitement. “Listen to this: they run out of wine at the wedding and Jesus
performs a miracle—waves his hands and a jug of water becomes the best wine
they’d ever tasted!” The three of them
hooted at that.
When their
laughter died down, Tityrus shook his head.
“Nah. Jesus wouldn’t be willing
to use his magical powers for so trivial a thing. Wouldn’t seem right.”
“Wait!
Wait!” Abantes shouted, and then through giggles, he explained. “Jesus forgot to bring a wedding gift, so
this is his way of making up for it!”
Medon topped
that. “How about saying that Jesus’s
mother is at the wedding and she makes him do it! Because in the beginning he doesn’t want to.”
Tityrus
shook his head. “Too silly. Jesus wouldn’t perform a miracle just because
his mother told him to.”
“Oh, no?”
Medon responded. “Have you ever met a
Jewish mother?” They roared over that for
a long time.
But then a melancholy
settled over them, and with a sigh they began to clear away the wine and
cheese. As they parted for the night,
Abantes sighed with regret. “It would’ve
made for a great light moment in the gospels, a real change from all the heavy
stuff. It’s a shame we can’t put it in.”
The others
agreed. “No one would believe it
happened,” Tityrus commented. “It’s too farfetched.”
8
And
he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And
they bare [it].
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Related Posts:
“A Guide to the Best of My Blog,” April 29, 2013; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-guide-to-best-of-my-blog.html
“Catholicism and Me (Part One),” March
13, 2010
“Superstitions,”March 21, 2010
“Catholicism and Me (Part Two),” April
18, 2010
“How To Become an Atheist,” May 16,
2010
“Imaginary Friend,” June 22, 2010
“I Don’t Do Science,” July 2, 2010
“Explosion at Ohio Stadium,” October 9,
2010 (Chapter 1 of my novel)
“When Atheists Die,” October 17, 2010
"Escape From Ohio Stadium,"
November 2, 2010 (Chapter 2)
"Open Mouth, Insert Foot,"
November 21, 2010 (Chapter 3)
"Rock Around the Sun,"
December 31, 2010
"Muslim Atheist," March 16,
2011
"An Atheist Interviews God,"
May 20, 2011
"A Mormon Loses His Faith,"
June 13, 2011
"Is Evolution True?" July 13,
2011
"Atheists, Christmas, and Public
Prayers," December 9, 2011
"An Atheist's Christmas
Card," December 23, 2011
" Urban Meyer and the Christian
Buckeye Football Team," February 19, 2012
"Intelligent Design, Unintelligent
Designer?", May 12, 2012
"My Atheist Thriller: Another Book
Reading," May 17, 2012
"'The God Particle' and the
Vanishing Role of God," July 5, 2012
“Update: Urban Meyer and the NON-Christian Buckeye Football Team,” August 24, 2012
“Update: Urban Meyer and the NON-Christian Buckeye Football Team,” August 24, 2012
“Atheists Visit the Creation Museum,”
October 4, 2012
“Mitt Romney: A Mormon President?”
October 17, 2012
“The
End of the World: Mayans, Jesus, and Others,” December 17, 2012
“I Don’t
Believe in Coincidences,” February 28, 2013
“Pious Ejaculations and the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” May 30, 2107, http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2017/05/pious-ejaculations-and-flying-spaghetti.html
“What Did the Lions Eat on Noah’s Ark?” October 20, 2017; https://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2017/10/what-did-lions-eat-on-noahs-ark.html
“Pious Ejaculations and the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” May 30, 2107, http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2017/05/pious-ejaculations-and-flying-spaghetti.html
“What Did the Lions Eat on Noah’s Ark?” October 20, 2017; https://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2017/10/what-did-lions-eat-on-noahs-ark.html
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