Careful What You Wish For: Making Trump an “Illegitimate President”






I’d like to offer some minor relief for the hard pressed liberal community, which includes my much-oppressed husband, David Vargo, suffering greatly from the excesses of the Trump Administration (not yet a month old).  I present for your consideration “FAKE NEWS FOR LIBERALS!”  Just pretend these news snippets are real and easing of your stress will follow immediately.  Let’s get started.


1.  Conway and Spicer Discovered in Love Nest


            This one is a shocker!  Though both are, in their words,“happily married” to others, Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to President Donald Trump, and Sean Spicer, Trump’s Press Secretary, were photographed in a compromising assignation at the Lincoln Memorial at 3 a.m. last Tuesday evening.  (See photo below)  Outraged, they’ve both denied they are the couple in the photograph.  “I’m super faithful to my wife,” Spicer said,” and, besides, I don’t like blondes.”  For her part Conway asserted that on the night in question she was out of town, visiting an aunt in Alternative, Iowa.


[Click to enlarge]


            When Donald Trump was asked about the assignation he replied he didn’t know if it was true or not, but “Why shouldn’t they be hot for each other?  They’re both very sexy people, though not, of course, as sexy as I am.” 





2.  Michelle Obama Throws Her Hat in the Ring





            Though she’d stated she had no interest in public office as recently as the beginning of 2017, Michelle Obama fired up the Democratic Party this morning by announcing she’s forming a campaign committee to explore a run for the Democratic nomination for president in 2020.  “Every day I hear more news about what Donald Trump has done in the White House and, frankly, it makes my blood boil!” she explained.  Excited supporters are forming their own committees, state by state, and donations are already pouring in though it’s not clear how this is being done or where to send the millions of dollars already promised.






            When Barack Obama was quizzed by reporters as to what he thought about his wife’s decision, he smiled broadly and declared that he’d love to return to the White House as “First Gentleman.”  He added that he “always went along with Michelle when she decides to do something, so I’ll follow her lead.”






3.  Korean Leader Dead!




            In shocking news it was just revealed that yesterday North Korean leader Kim Jong-un was assassinated by his own troops who suddenly attacked the reviewing stand in which he was seated and hacked his body to pieces.  When the soldiers were done they quickly took over all government buildings and declared their intent to petition South Korea to amalgamate the two countries into one, to be called simply “Korea.”  When the leader of the triumphant troops was asked why they had killed Kim Jong-un he replied that “He was too ugly a person to live, and we got really, really tired of being forced to smile, applaud enthusiastically, and goosestep in tight formations while starving.” 

            In keeping with the tradition Kim Jong-un began when he had his own uncle murdered, the dead leader’s body was fed to a pack of dogs.  There will be no funeral.


4.  Donald Trump’s Obituary

            Solemn news.  Just as this blog post was going to press Donald Trump died unexpectedly when he fell from the Truman balcony of the White House to his death this afternoon.  Apparently he screamed all the way down, so it is unlikely this was a suicide.  Beside him on the balcony at the moment of his unfortunate fall were his wife Melania, his young son Barron, and Vice President Pence.  Police are interrogating them at this time.  Strangely they all appear unwilling to cooperate fully in the investigation, claiming they didn’t see anything.  “He was here one second, then he wasn’t,” was all a dry-eyed Melania could contribute.  Barron was so overcome by emotion that he could express his grief only by uncontrolled laughter.

            Vice President Pence will be sworn in at the police station, reliable sources state.

            A number of tourists captured the President’s deadly fall and snapped photos of our leader’s demise.  Here's one:



[Click to enlarge]



Well, that’s all the news that isn’t.  But one might wish some of it was.  Pick your favorite.







----------------------------------------- 
Related Posts:
“A Guide to the Best of My Blog,” April 29, 2013; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-guide-to-best-of-my-blog.html

“Careful What You Wish For: Making Trump an Illegitimate President,” January 20, 2017; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2017/01/careful-what-you-wish-for-making-trump.html

“President Preposterous: Donald Takes the Helm,” November 14, 2016; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2016/11/president-preposterous-donald-takes-helm_14.html

“Calm Yourself: What Trump Can and Cannot Do About LGBT Rights,” November 16, 2016; http://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2016/11/calm-yourself-what-trump-can-and-cannot_16.html

“A Criminal Controls the Detective: Why Trump Will Soon Fire Robert Mueller”; https://douglaswhaley.blogspot.com/2018/03/a-criminal-controls-detective-why-trump.html



           



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How To Write an Effective Legal Threat Letter

Image
                                              . Since I graduated from law school in 1968 I've always had some sort of legal practice which varied from extensive in the early years, to these days when I'm retired and mostly just doing consulting work for a hefty fee.   In this period I've written a lot of letters threatening legal action on behalf of my client (or, on the rare occasion, myself—see Related Posts below).   In the classroom I've passed on my advice on how to create an effective letter, and now I offer it to you, blog reader. A letter threatening legal action almost always discombobulates a recipient who is not him/herself routinely involved in legal actions.   I tell my law students that in their coming practices they will often...
Read more

Mortgage Foreclosures, Missing Promissory Notes, and the Uniform Commercial Code: A New Article

Image
. For the last few years I have been crossing the country giving lectures on what I now call the "Golden Rule of Mortgage Foreclosures," which is that such foreclosures cannot proceed without production of the original promissory note signed at the closing.  A symposium at Western State University Law School last year at which I gave the keynote address turned into a law review article on point, and that law review article is reprinted below in full.  The correct citation for the printed version is 39 W. St. U. L. Rev. 313 (2012).  As subsequent developments occur I will add them in red to the original article below.  Any corrections or suggestions may be sent to me at dglswhaley@aol.com .                                             ...
Read more

The Payment-In-Full Check: A Powerful Legal Maneuver

Image
Having a dispute with a creditor? One way to win it (and fast) is to send that creditor a "payment in full" check [hereafter "PIFC"] and end it things in your favor. How does this bit of legal magic work? Read on. It's always been the law that if you and I have an existing contract, either one of us can propose a modification to that contract, and if we both agree, the contract changes accordingly. There are technical names for this. Say, for instance, that I owe you an undisputed amount of $500. I send you an email and ask if you would take my horse Dobbins is settlement of the debt, and you reply in the affirmative. My offer of something different than what was originally owed (the horse for the money) is called the offer of an "accord." Your agreement to take Dobbins is the "satisfaction." Thus an "accord and satisfaction" in our law is nothing more than a fancy name for a modification agreement. I no longer owe you $500; I...
Read more