Think of it this way: a touch is a message. It says “at this moment I have decided that physical contact with you is the right thing to do.” It’s a right brain decision, and the right side of your brain is both good and bad at making this decision. In this blog I’ve often commented on the necessity of understanding how the right and left sides of your brain affect how you behave [see "The Left-Brain/Right-Brain Life" in Related Posts below]. The left side deals with abstract concepts such as words and numbers, while the physical and creative side of the brain is on the right. The left side of the brain knows the word “touch,” but the right side performs the action (without knowing what’s it’s called). The right side therefore must be monitored in any situation involving a touch. Why monitored? Because the right side is often impulsive---it will sometimes want to touch someone when a more considered opinion would stifle this impulse (particularly true in sexual situations when libido trumps propriety). The good part is that, given the okay to touch and instructed to touch appropriately, the right brain is in its element, and whether it’s stroking gently or hugging hard, is good at doing the action right. Phrased another way, it knows how to deliver the message.
Gilbert’s lyric about a lover’s training continued:
Here’s the end of Gilbert’s lyric:
“Men, Women, and Pornography,” December 12, 2010
"Fifty Shades of Grey: Corbin Milk in the BDSM World," December 26, 2012
“A Guide to the Best of My Blog,” April 29, 2013