Douglas Whaley

      . The following is collection of little pieces that, taken singly, are too short for a decent-size blog entry.   I call this post "Potpourri #1" on the theory that at some point there will be a sequel, possibly many.   Send complaints to stop this if you want no more. 1.   "Wake Up, Mr. Tree" When Jerry and I were at the start of our twelve years together (see "Recidivist" in Related Posts, below), he was still in law school.   But three days a week he didn't have morning classes, while I did.   After we moved in together, I'd rise and he'd stay in bed.   When I commented on this, his reply was "I'm not getting up unless you can sing 'Wake Up, Mr. Tree."   This stumped me until he explained that when he was little (Jerry was born in 1959) there was a Columbus TV children's show called "Lucy's Toy Shop."   In each show the children would wake up a seven foot tall tree puppet by singing thi...

                     . In this blog I've sometimes discussed things I'm bad at ["The Many Faults of Douglas Whaley," "The Only Course I Ever Flunked," and "Mama Cat Saves My Life" are just three examples—see Related Posts below], but I've always had a robust sex life, even---in my twenties---with women.   I once had a couple of dates with a man who lived in Cincinnati (well, "dates" is a euphemism here), and on one visit to that city he took me to a party of his friends.   As he introduced me to the small crowd, he frankly announced, "He isn't much to look at, but—wow—is he hot sex!"   I was both offended and flattered at the same moment.   That very evening I suddenly figured out that he made his living as a thief ("I can get you an almost-new TV at a great price!") and we parted company forever, hot sex be damned. When it comes to making love I have th...

                                                       . One of the great pleasures of retiring is that I no longer have to attend faculty meetings, as I did regularly for 34 years.   Meetings of any sort are usually awful, but I'm alive to tell you that a collection of law professors gathered in one room to discuss anything is hell on earth.   Like all lawyers, law professors can verbally litigate sentences just uttered, and, also being teachers, then expound for interminable periods on their own point of view.   It's so boring that mice have moved out of the building rather than ever experience this again.   Indeed, an exterminating service should consider scheduling law school faculty meetin...

                                                                      . Mama Cat and Owner The Whaley Family line has always featured two unfortunate traits: (1) optimism when it's not justified (and, indeed, is contradicted by all available facts), and (2) ignoring important symptoms even if doing so will likely lead to major trouble.   This all was on exhibit Tuesday, July 5, 2011. Readers of this blog may remember a prior post entitled   "Report on Old Doug: Health, Theater, eBook, and More" (June 28, 2011) in which I described various topics.   One of these was my enthusiasm for attending a writers' conference in New Yo...

                                              . Since I graduated from law school in 1968 I've always had some sort of legal practice which varied from extensive in the early years, to these days when I'm retired and mostly just doing consulting work for a hefty fee.   In this period I've written a lot of letters threatening legal action on behalf of my client (or, on the rare occasion, myself—see Related Posts below).   In the classroom I've passed on my advice on how to create an effective letter, and now I offer it to you, blog reader. A letter threatening legal action almost always discombobulates a recipient who is not him/herself routinely involved in legal actions.   I tell my law students that in their coming practices they will often...